Saturday 24 January 2015

(Failing to) Overcome Barriers - Badly!

Phew, I'm soooooo exhausted - no wonder that I'm counting my lucky stars that the weekend has finally arrived! At long last, spare time is sold in such ginormous quantities that the actual figure would send your head into a speedy spin... yet, I ask myself, how do you make the most of it? Squeezing every single second out of time like obtaining the zesty juice from a lemon is a secret that has forever intrigued me, but I'm not any nearer towards discovering its tantalising truth: of all the moments in my life, I really need to find out.

As our urges to listen to one's business spiral out of control, I'll explain before you start pounding on my door, promising to pay me upfront for several sentences to be uttered from my lips (an offer which I'd find a bit hard to resist!). Next weekend marks the end of my year-long tenure as a fifteen year old as I celebrate my big (as it is often described) Sweet 16th. And, as I tend to find by the time that my birthday rolls around the corner every year, I have no idea on what to do. At all.

There are so many words that I could use to describe my annoyance with having not even a miniscule hint of an idea on what I can do to celebrate my 16th in what I'd like to call sophisticated style (which I'm definitely not saying for the sake of using alliteration as my English teacher often advises in writing) - in other words, not spending the entire day trapped in a play centre that would have been my equivalent of paradise around ten years ago! When I'm writing stories or blogging, very little puts a dent to my constant stream of ideas, yet other things - especially major ones such as once-in-a-lifetime birthdays - create more fuss than I can be bothered to deal with.

Honestly, I hardly feel motivated to think about my birthday right now because I don't have the faintest clue on what to do, a problem of which is driving me around the bend like a whole weekend devoted to the FA Cup: I must be very deserving of winning a medal for my efforts to not scream! All that I'm certain of is that, whatever happens, I have to be doing something, but that 'something' is as much of a mystery as a Victoria Secret model's 'naturally' svelte waist.

Maybe the excitement of anticipating my birthday - which has definitely been in the works for quite some time - has finally caught up with me, albeit at the most unfortunate and least convenient time. Society regards your 16th as all-important occasion and that stereotype is heavily played on in books and films, such as the 80s teen classic Sixteen Candles which perfectly depicts the trouble of celebrating one of the greatest birthdays in your life - and trying to live up to the 'ideal' image that is inserted into your mind. As cringe-worthy as it may sound, I dream of having a birthday identical to a film, in which the heroine gets the boy or wears such a fabulous dress that all the girls at her school are practically seething with envy. Obviously, that's the trouble with comparing your life to a John Hughes movie, but those films which I deeply love have somehow caught me out in between fantasy and reality - hence why nothing seems to be good enough to do on my birthday.

If only I'd identified this fault sooner - plenty of exaggerated sighs, see-through stares and comments dripping with sarcasm like a dripping tap could have been prevented! But, on reflection, I'm struggling to see how that would have been possible because of being so wrapped up (like my new-and-so-far only birthday present, a Sony Xperia smartphone) in everything completely unrelated to birthdays, gifts and relatively healthy-ish chocolate cakes, such as school. Though the process is drawing closer towards ending with each passing day, I'm still in the transition of settling into my new school, which has practically defined me ever since the new term began several weeks ago. It is so easy to lose myself in the likes of Animal Farm, French terms and, though I wince as I write it, graph lines that everything else can be simply forgotten about; unfortunately, sorting out my birthday has fallen into this category! Although my priorities may be in order at school, I doubt that the same can be said about planning what will so far be my biggest birthday...

Never mind looking back on the past: the question is what I must do is resolve this problem? Once again, I am as lost as a hiker in the Sahara Desert on coming up with any reasonable suggestions, let alone reaching a decision. Like a chocolate addict, I'm deprived of what inspires me most, creating a blockage that I feel incapable of getting past.

Despite living in the area for almost a year, I'm still relatively new to discovering new places and what is in them; only the day before I went back to school did I visit the cinema for the first time in over a year, so it takes a while to try things out! Annoyingly, absolutely no films of interest to me on being shown at the cinema on my birthday, which always occurs each year - bad luck or what? And, because of my birthday falling on a Sunday, shops are only open for six hours or less, which pretty much limits my options of spending hours in an out-of-town shopping centre. Oh, what will I do?

Instead of re-exploring the points that I've already made, I'll put this matter aside and hope that I will be spared the misery of struggling to sort it out over the next week. Since focusing all my energies on it, my chances of finding that perfect activity have significantly fallen - as some people find, the best ideas come to you when you least expect it. Well, I just hope that tactic works in my favour and, obviously, in time for my most fabulous ever birthday next Sunday...

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