Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Starting a New Chapter

When you read the last page of such a gripping chapter in a book, excitement fills you up to the extent that you are craving to devour more - its grip on you gains further strength that is applied to its obsessed reader. Whether it takes place in a book or reality, there are constantly new chapters that entertain, perplex and absorb us which often include events that not even a so-called psychic can predict: until it happens, you have no idea whatsoever about what is lurking behind the corner. Throughout the course of our lives, we are playing the roles of characters whom we would normally associate with TV: there are problems that need to be solved, and plenty of fun to be enjoyed along the way. Luckily, it appears that I'll be getting a taste of the latter, after months of worrying myself sick as to how to deal with numerous issues.

Yesterday marked my final day at what I can proudly refer to as my old school. Instead of being a current issue, the problems that I encountered at my former school can be firmly placed in the past because they are no longer relevant to the present; as soon as I leapt off the bus yesterday afternoon, one tedious chapter drew to a close. At last! How I contained my glee like a shaken can of Pepsi throughout the entire day is as baffling as to how my old school used to brush bullying issues under the carpet, yet I had to release my horse-like squeal from the very moment I stepped through the door.

All at once, I was flooded with emotions - happiness, relief, a bizarre urge to break down in hysterical tears - which, until right now, I haven't particularly addressed. Because very little changed until last week, it astounds me that my life has been completely transformed within what I would define as a short space of time. There is no doubt regarding how grateful I am about the speediness of leaving the school, yet there has always been something hovering in the background that has gained my full attention. From homework (which didn't need to be completed because of leaving before handing it in, though I only realized once I'd finished it) to shopping for half of my new uniform, recognizing my feelings has been one of the smallest priorities of late.

Emotions don't buy your new blazer or help you escape from your school quicker: while the to-do list was slowly being ticked off, I lost touch with my feelings. The greatest emotion that I had contact with was happiness which, from the moment that I was told about being offered a place at another school, I've been literally radiating. However, I didn't want to raise my hopes up and truly believe that I would be offered a place - fearing that I would be leading myself towards the bittersweet path of disappointment - so I was genuinely shocked when my dream came true. Therefore, that wide-eyed look of 'OMG' hasn't quite slipped off my face - though it is gradually wearing off, I keep pinching myself at times to make sure that everything is not a glorious fairytale!

Luckily, I've been granted today and tomorrow (Wednesday) off from school before I start at my new one on Thursday, a gesture which I truly appreciate. So far, I've baked my annual Christmas Cake - despite being a Mary Berry recipe, I call it my speciality (well, an amuteur baker must have one) - and can smell the warm scent of brandy drifting into my bedroom as I write, unleashing a literally unspoken appetite for alcoholic baked goods. Not quite the wisest words that a fifteen year could write, but that's the magic and warmth of Christmas, you know!

Also, I think that one or two lie-ins will develop the courage that I'll lean on in the days to come: being in the right state mind is an absolute must, which is given a magnificent boost by a decent night's sleep. As the temperatures have recently dropped, there is no doubt that I'll be spending more time in bed - if only all teenagers had such a privilege during the week!

Most important of all, I'm ready to embrace starting over again - the second time in six months - and work as hard as I did at my old school. A fresh start is exactly what I've been hankering for ages - as if I won't make the very most of this opportunity! So many kids across the world have no choice other than to attend exceptionally terrible schools; through hard work, I've landed myself a place at a brilliant school which I'm sure will provide the very best education possible.

I want to redeem my faith in the education sector after being so badly mistreated by it during the darkest times when bullying literally defined my life. Who wants to carry excess baggage that they will always seek to hide, cowering in shame? Like a deleting a Word document, I aim to wipe the slate clean and play a key role in developing a happier story that I'll look back with pride in years to come.

In the meantime, I shall enjoy every single moment of rest, peace and certainly sleep until the new chapter commences - as does euphoria.

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