If I carry on discussing my house moving-related issues on a daily basis, you needn't think twice upon the possibility that my head could explode like Mt Etna erupting near the Italian town of Sicily, except that my parents would have to clean up after my mess with the dreaded Dyson hoover which, eleven years of first placing my eyes upon it, continues to scare the living daylights out of me whenever it makes a noisier-than-a-heavy-metal-concert appearance. So, please imaginarily whack me around my head if I dare to bring up this irritatingly stressful matter because it is all which my mind is thinking about at the moment - well, unless those juicy chicken fillets from KFC pop into my head during those periods when hunger is developing a strength similar to an oil-greased WWE wrestler, but I just want to appreciate those rare occasions when cellotaping a box heavy enough to break your bones are not relevant to my routine. If that makes any sense at all.
Anyway, as my dad unfortunately packed away my schoolbooks into one of the many boxes shielding the television in the living room yesterday, I've been left with nothing better to do than to jot down my more confused-than-ever thoughts here or keep a watchful eye on the kittens who have recently established a penchant for leaping onto the kitchen sink, the sight of which can only keep me amused for so long. Right now, I'd love nothing better than to immerse myself into one of my cookery books which has been sealed into (you guessed it!) box, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good, don't you? Try saying that to Little Miss Bored who just finished plucking her bushy-as-a-tree eyebrows raw, yet I might as well get on with today's entry (in case you haven't noticed, I possibly will be writing here more often as a method of keeping my sanity in check).
Depending on my mood, I would usually like to write about particular interests, such as favourite films, CDs and books, or treats which resurrect my sweet tooth like Frankenstein being brought to life via an environmentally destroying amount of electricity. Bearing in mind that the second season of The Vampire Diaries and a few of my dad's The Sopranos box sets are the sole DVDs remaining in the cabinet, listening to music via Spotify has just become obligatory and I'm experiencing the withdrawal symptoms on a par to an alcoholic due to no longer having access to my large-as-a-library book collection, it is fair to admit that I have pretty much run out of ideas about what to write today, which has created a throbbing headache in my temples to say the least.
However, there is still a spark of life within my imagination to discuss something which I'm fairly confident has not been mentioned here in the past, a practise of which I regularly take into consideration because I detest nothing more than lacking originality like the taxpayer-funded BBC constantly airing repeats of programmes which nobody likes. Today's idea is conducting an interview with myself, as written by the only person suited to the job (no, no, Bart the Kitten has not figured out my Blogger password, nor how to use a laptop) - me. Unfortunately, Little Brother is likely to take a few cream crackers and a half-kept promise of being first in line for a slice of my soon-to-be-baked brownie cake as he undergoes the boring task of piling his possessions into a box for the duration of this morning, so he is unable to interview myself, as is my dad who currently doing the same thing. Oh well, let's see how I get on with talking to myself - it shouldn't be too hard, shouldn't it?
LittleMissJournalist (LMJ): Sorry for arriving here late, LikeATeen; I almost tripped over the boxes near your bedroom.
LikeATeen (LAT) (smirks with sarcastic malice): Oh really? Which ones?
LMJ (gives an offending glare, which sends a chill of cold fear down LAT's spine): Oh, never mind. Boxes are boxes, are they not?
LAT (shrugs in the manner of the weight of the world resting on her shoulders): I suppose.
LMJ: Anyway, I'm here to discuss your successful blog which you set up last year. Congratulations on doing such a wonderful job!
LAT (eyes pop open, splattering onto the dust-covered carpets): Me doing a good job? I'm not so sure as to whether I would really believe it; hardly anybody has even seen this blog!
LMJ: Doesn't your Blogger account state that your blog has received over 1000 views?
LAT (squirms uncomfortably in squeaky chair): Um, well I couldn't resist checking my blog from time to time, so a considerable number of the views were played on my part.
LMJ: So, you admit looking at your own website nearly a thousand times?
LAT: No, no, not that many times! Well, I hope not - you see, I'm not an expert on maths in the slightest...
LMJ: Oh yes, the beloved maths you detest so greatly. How is your studying going?
LAT: It's going fine, thanks. My parents have told me that I'll definitely walk my English GCSE, which has offered a massive boost to my confidence, but I'm not so sure about whether I'll pass my mathematics exams so easily.
LMJ (licks lips excitedly, intent to hear more): Why is that?
LAT (automatically switches into defensive mode): Hey, it isn't my fault that I don't understand all of these numbers and letters which are supposedly defined as equations! In my opinion, letters shouldn't even go near numbers because it gives a startling impression of misuse of the English language.
LMJ: Of course you would hold onto those beliefs because of your bulletproof relationship with writing, wouldn't you?
LAT (coughs quietly, cornered into defeat): Yes, I would.
LMJ (shuffles her imaginary papers): What is your view relating to modern teenage life?
LAT: Unlike past generations, life for modern teens is more difficult than ever because we aspire to reach beyond our ambitions and succeed in everything we do. That can affect our enjoyment of living life as a teenager because, as many people realize within time, youth grants an excitement which you cannot exactly replicate in later life.
LMJ: How do you mean?
LAT: Being young exaggerates your fearlessness within doing certain things from which older people would automatically flee, and there isn't a happier moment than getting your burst of freedom which later leads to independence as an adult.
LMJ: What kind of things have you done which would need a burst of fearlessness?
LAT (thinks hard for a moment): Tucking into a couple of Smarties before having breakfast at the age of eight or nine required a particular level of bravery, which kept me on somewhat of a high for the rest of the day.
LMJ: You mean a sugar-fuelled high, right?
LAT (gasps in shock): What else did you expect me to say? For the record, I'm extremely offended by your manner.
LMJ: You mean that you're offended by yourself, don't you?
LAT (refuses to answer, glaring at her ever-growing pile of boxes)
LMJ: What are your dreams for the future?
LAT (springs back into vivid life): For years, I've been dreaming about pursuing a career in journalism because it would enable me to remain true to my greatest love: writing. Plus, earning a living through doing something fun couldn't be better, could it?
LMJ: I thought that you were interested in combining law and journalism a while ago. Are your interests still the same?
LAT: In a certain way, yes. Unlike reality TV stars and lip-synching singers, people specializing in Law will always be needed as it would be impossible to live in a world without crime, lawsuits and damn good trials shown on the news channels. But there are a few aspects regarding Law with which I don't necessarily agree, such as convicted criminals failing to receive a long sentence for his or her crimes. I know that the Law must always be abided, regardless of the matter involved, but there are certain high-profile cases which should remain immune to the rules because it strikes me as humanely wrong.
LMJ: So, is it unlikely that the world will be placing their eyes upon the first blogging journalist/lawyer-in-disguise?
LAT: Look, if I could stuff half of my jewellery box into a small container and still have enough space, anything is possible. Like my mum sometimes says to me, today is the present (one of which nobody could be bothered to wrap decently) and tomorrow is a gift - who knows what I may decide in the future!
LMJ: Talking of the future, your life is teetering towards undergoing one massive change soon, am I not correct?
LAT: I thought I said that I would not discuss the big move earlier.
LMJ (sighs annoyingly, scrunching her hand into a ball-sized fist): Come on, who cares about rules? There isn't anything more interesting to talk about, is there?
LAT (glances around bedroom, disheartened at the empty sight of bare walls and a miniature storage room beside her chair): No, that's a point.
LMJ (smiles proudly): So, how are you feeling about moving to a new area and returning to mainstream education?
LAT: At the moment, I'm a bundle of excitement and nerves, though it may just be my stomach playing up after having a lemon cream muffin last. (stomach gurgles loudly) But I'm genuinely over the moon at becoming an inhabitant of a lovely new area and creating new friendships, which is somehow keeping me smiling as I struggle to find space for my possessions.
LMJ: One last question for you. What -
LAT (cuts in abruptly): Gosh, it better be - sitting on this chair for ages has turned me into a cool marble stone?
LMJ (mutters an unrepeatable word under her breath): You never stop talking, do you?
LAT: If I didn't, would I ever have anything remotely fascinating to write about on my blog?
LMJ: Before you rudely interrupted me, I was going to ask you one final question. Don't forget that I've lost half of my body heat whilst asking you these questions, so don't go on about your cool-as-marble issues and all the other stuff which has bored me to sleep.
LAT (yawns loudly)
LMJ: Anyway, do you think that this is a good life for the Modern Teen?
LAT: Now that the future is shining as brightly as a shooting star, I really do think that I am living a good life as a Modern Teenager. Sure, I will have my ups and downs - that pimple near the corner of my mouth has been getting on my nerves today - but everything is worth it once I reach the end of the tunnel, and that light is getting nearer as each day passes.
LMJ (a tear rolls down her foundation-caked cheek): Wow, you truly read my thoughts, LikeATeen.
LAT (grins madly): And who wouldn't?
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