Since embarking on a highly exhausting journey to my new residence two months ago, I've been taken on one of the craziest rides known to mankind as adjusting to fresh-as-Febreze changes within my personal life, all of which I hold immense gratitude for taking place. Needless to say, my life has conjured a wacky mixture of excitement and nerves in recent weeks as one 'change' - if I dare to declare it - has become my main focus which, from next Monday, will enforce a different routine and a yet-unknown way of living, bringing a significant era to an all-mighty end. This 'change' in question is one of which most teenagers are accustomed to or, unlike myself, have known off heart their whole lives and, in less than three days' time, I will be joining the ever-growing legion. And what will I become? An uniform-clad student at a secondary school which, after seven years of knowing no different, will firmly put my previous means of education - home-schooling - in the past.
As I've brought up this subject time and time again - as recent as last week after attending a 'taster' day at my new secondary school - I won't go into full detail about home education for the one hundredth time because, if you've relished my blog like a Starbucks cappuccino in the past, you will have learnt the ins and outs of home-schooling long before now. So, returning to mainstream education is quite a big deal for both my younger brother and I because the differences between home-schooling and attending a school are easily recognized - even more so as, until I visited my new school for a 'taster' day last Friday, I had never even set foot in a secondary school! But, to my delight, I felt at ease in my new school from the moment that I arrived and immersed myself into studying hard at all of my lessons, so my nerves are not related to the school's atmosphere or teaching in the slightest. In fact, I've been desperate to return to school since the bell rang at the end of the day a week ago; just my luck that I attended the final day before half-term!
However, there are several aspects of secondary school which, as I was only limited to doing so much on Friday, will remain unknown until I officially start my first week next Monday, such as the amount of homework I will receive, GCSE revision and how my abilities in various subjects will be recognized. Although my original intentions were to take my GCSEs next year in order to study with those in my age group, I made up my mind over a month ago to retake what should have been this school year in order to catch up and stand a better chance of excelling in my exams which, as alarm bells start screeching at the smallest opportunity, has eased my anxiety enormously.
This means that I'll be studying with pupils around a year younger than me but, as I had more friends in the year below me at primary school, I'm not bothered about being unable to socialize with younger teenagers at all; in fact, it has extended my love of studying for another year, which poses no issue at all! My biggest fear when I attended the school last Friday was whether people would gawk at me if I disclosed the fact that I had indeed gone back a year - if you didn't have an inkling as to one's background, wouldn't curiosity cross your mind? - but my fellow classmates were very accepting, a reaction of which flooded me with relief. The very last thing I wanted - and needed - was to be heralded as the new girl with below-average abilities which, when education all but means the world to you, is as much of a nightmare as Amazon raising the price of my must-have copy of The Vampire Diaries. At least I reached a conclusion with a major fear straight away and have been able to move on - but what to?
Due to rarely being given homework whilst being home taught, I'm somewhat nervous as to the amount of homework that teachers will hand over to me next week because I fear that I won't be able to cope with all of it or, worse still, will be extremely short of time to complete it. If the homework is relating to a subject that I particularly enjoy - for example, the likes of English, French, Geography, ICT and even Religious Studies are my top favourites - I shouldn't been faced with any issues over finishing the paper on time, but the same may not necessarily be said about Maths which, to my horror, isn't my best nor most beloved subject. If I have to spend more time revising for subjects that I half-like, where will the time go? Though I usually describe myself as organized borderline OCD (my determination to go to bed on time proves this), I'm unsure as to whether I'll fall to pieces by receiving one single piece of homework: my drama queen will strike once again!
Most importantly of all, I don't want to express any negativity about attending school next week because it truly fills me with joy that I'll see my friends again, along with the prospect of studying English with whom I hope to be an equally enthusiastic teacher. Yet these quiet, yet persistent feelings cannot be pushed to one side and ignored until that moment - which features my head exploding into mess that makes even Mount Etna look tidy - occurs and, with the weekend ahead of me, I need to address my niggling thoughts whilst I still have my head screwed on (albeit half-tightly). The beginning is bound to be difficult to get my head around at first but, within some guidance, I should settle into new routines and banish my worries to the back of my mind; failure, or not initially achieving the grades I desire, won't hold me back in the sense of being unable to fulfill certain ambitions in life. If getting a bad or lower than expected grade shifts my motivation into a refreshed focus, I don't mind as long as I perform to my highest standard and, as I cannot stress enough, excel in whatever I do - several things have proven that almost anything is possible!
But, unless you figured it out before I even reached this paragraph, one thing - a very important message nonetheless - needs to be mentioned as it will leave a significant impact on both my personal life and the existence that I have shared with Life as a Modern Teen since my second life as a spot-suffering blogger was born last October. As my priorities will lie within focusing on my studies and enjoying what school life has to offer, I may be left with no choice except to step back from blogging for a while until I've sorted out a perfect balance between both school and home life. Although I love writing here with all of my heart, something has to give - unless I transformed into a British-born teenage version of Superwoman, how am I supposed to juggle so many things without stress taking its toll on me?
In a few days' time, I will make myself acquainted with a well-known feature at school - pressure - and will fall into its grip as my education represents a deeper meaning, especially as these school years are vital towards achieving my dream career as a journalist. Written down on paper, it seems as scary as a Stephen King novel but, considering that I watched Alien as my first 18-rated film at the age of eleven and thought that the just-born baby alien resembled a hot dog, I'm not easily scared - and why should pressure send a shiver of ice-cold fear down my spine? In other words, I need to be practical with my time and make the most of the spare moments that I can use towards finishing homework and, of course, having a life. At times like these, I wish that a few extra hours could be added to every day, but I'll have to learn to cope with whatever is thrown at me. And besides, I'll get my bursts of writing inspiration at school on what I hope is a daily basis - at this rate, I'll be spoilt rotten!
Yet, unless I have some spare time to kill or am in need of getting away from my brother for a while, please don't expect me to finish an entry as long as this one anytime soon; for all that I know, blogging may be strictly reserved to the weekend for a while. And, in all honesty, I don't mind because the moments that I share with you will be more special and, as I will hopefully be bursting at the seams with plenty of stories to tell, more interesting - you know, there are only so many times that I can digest a topic associated with chocolate! Throughout my hormonal woes and changes within life itself, this blog has remained as solid and stable as it was when I set it up on a dark October evening last year; where would I be without it? Not only has my confidence within writing gone through leaps and bounds, but I have achieved a renewed sense of myself which, in my opinion, only writing could bring me. Though I will admit that not all of my entries reached my hard-to-impress LikeATeen standard, I'm nonetheless proud of my skills and happy to have shared my experiences with yourself, if not the internet - over half a year on, and I still struggle to find my blog on Google's search results!
Hopefully this entry won't be the end of my blogging career which, as I was turned down by almost every newspaper going in my search for work experience last year, has been the best job and indeed experience that I've ever had, but one must retain practicality if a situation - including a return to school after seven years - requires it. I may even pop up here during the weekend, but now feels like the right time to get my thoughts across and say a temporary farewell or whatever whilst the inspiration existed at its brightest. Even though an end must come at one point or another, I seriously cannot bear the thought of finishing this entry - and what feels like my blog, if you can understand such a thing - but my English teacher wouldn't be pleased if I didn't finish it well, would she?
Like the title suggests, an end may have arrived but, in many ways, it has enabled me to embark on a new beginning. The beginning partly began last Friday when I got my first taste of secondary school life, but I will truly feel its embrace next Monday when studying all but consumes my attention. Am I excited? As my inner brainiac is dying to cry out loud, bien sûr!
See you soon,
LikeATeen
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