Saturday, 25 April 2015

I'm BACK!!!

Well... it's been a while since my last appearance on this wonderful world that I love to call my blogging home, hasn't it? Though two weeks often seem to take forever to pass, I've barely taken notice of it because of being so absorbed into literally every second of each day - exhausted doesn't truly begin to describe how I'm feeling!

Still. I survived what, this time a fortnight ago, I deeply believed would be impossible to get through. Plastered on my wardrobe door was a sheet of paper which contained my inescapable doom: mock exams. Like the wannabe translator that I sometimes fantasise about being, I interpreted 'mock' as a scornful game against me, seemingly to dupe me into a claustrophobic panic when I hardly had anything to get stressed about. Beneath the inch-thick layer of Bare Minerals powder and shimmery eye shadow glittering on my face, I was afraid - as, once again, I was about to embark on a journey that I had never experienced before. 

Without sending ice-cold shivers down your spine or creating a plot for an upcoming horror movie, I'll keep my descriptions of my exams to a bare minimum (with a little help from my beloved cat Bart, whose fascination with my laptop has almost caused me to drop on a number of occasions) because I really don't want to scare you - whether you're on the verge of sitting exams or have already done so! 

Really, all I can say is that going through these exams has been a massive learning curve for me because I've finally approached a once-vibrant fear in its face which, from the angle I saw it, isn't as ugly as it is often portrayed to be. OK, there have been one or two moments of sheer panic along the way, most notably my Sociology mock yesterday when I ran out of time to tackle several important questions, but isn't it what everybody experiences at one point or another? Anyway, I've realised that, by acknowledging any faults that I might have right now, I'll undoubtedly be in a better and more confident position by the time I sit my real (and oh-so-scary) exams next year, which is now twelve months away - about time to start screaming my head off, don't you think? 

Therefore, I've literally spent almost every spare moment that I've had on revising like an actor repeatedly learning their lines for a potentially life-changing audition, procrastinating about revision and, as you would expect from a very sleepy teenager, not revising at all. Still, my life of late - definitely since the Easter holidays commenced over a month ago - has been defined by revision and studying, which has definitely affected my desires to have some precious fun. 

Sure, there is absolutely no doubt that studying can sometimes be boring as a re-run of ancient James Bond films on a Sunday afternoon, especially if I'm forcing myself to google the importance of Pythagoras' Theorem the night before an hour of delicious Mathematics hell, but developing this routine will help me so much next year. At the end of the day, I know that my dreams - which have now changed to becoming a teacher (and bossing kids around, haha!) - will finally come alive when I get my GCSE results next summer, so these goals keep my spirits up when I occasionally feel like nothing is working out the way I want it to.

Besides, my one true dream - a weekend piled with sheer laziness, unlimited fun and satisfying ease - is here, so I'm thrilled to be able to do whatever I want! Even though a miniscule voice at the back of my mind is reminding me that I still have a Science mock to revise for (which was supposed to be held on Wednesday, but was later postponed - to the glee of my year group, who were already sitting a second Maths mock on the same day!), I feel that giving myself a break this weekend will make me feel refreshed enough when I return to studying. When exams are coming and going, I struggle to squeeze in a bit of free time because revision is mostly all that my mind can focus on. Hopefully, as I get nearer towards my final exams in a year's time, I will have developed several techniques that will not only maintain my sanity during some crazy times, but will also ensure that I'll get my hands on several pleasing grades!

Now I have a question to ask myself: what am I going to do this week? Asides from blogging (which I have missed like all the chocolate bars that I had to abstain from during Lent several weeks ago!), I really fancy catching up on my favourite TV programmes and possibly devoting an hour or so to playing video games - a.k.a. The Sims 2, which is pretty much the only video game I have! For a while, I simply want to rid my mind of grades, target grades, revision, notes and my upcoming Parent's Evening which, to my relief, allows me to wear my ordinary clothing. Instead of considering what my teachers will say about me, I'm already thinking about which colour eye shadow, earrings and jeans I'll be wearing... some things, such as my vanity, will never change, will they? 

Before I plug in my gingerbread earphones, which are sadly inedible (despite looking very appetising), and listen to some music, I just want to wish everybody the best of luck with their exams - whether they are mocks or terminal. Obviously, sitting in a hall for several hours in absolute silence is intimidating, but we must remember that there is a beautiful world - complete with sunshine or the so-called 'April showers' (which I've hardly seen this month!) - waiting to be enjoyed outside, and exams don't last forever. Knowing me, I'll be eating my words when my turn comes next year, but focusing on the things you enjoy truly do make a difference to your confidence and possibly overall performance. 

Annoyingly, another Maths mock has been booked towards the end of June/beginning of July, so I haven't entirely escaped mock season quite yet, though I'm hoping that I will be living it up on my trip to France by then - as long as I don't spill the beans in front of my teacher! However, I'm already beginning to feel a bit more confident in my abilities, sometimes surprising myself, which has proven to me that I can do it. 

As for creating a spreadsheet on Microsoft Excel, that's another story which I really don't want to go into it!

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