Saturday, 14 March 2015

Having a Look in my Diary...

For once, I thought that, instead of sticking to my usual routine of transforming several thousand words into an essay, I would actually talk about what this blog's name says: life as a modern teenager.

OK, describing my fetish for crimped hair might have given you a glimpse into the hairstyle-part of my life, but it doesn't tell you what is truly going on beneath the surface (or the dry, sand-like bits sometimes lurking in my scalp), does it? Life goes far beyond crimpers, which colour lipstick you put on and how traumatically you fight the urge to hide yourself in the sweets cupboard after the longest day ever at school; there are treasures and gems hidden behind doors, disguised in ornaments that we lay our eyes on more than we realise and waiting to be discovered by none other than ourselves.

In this day and age, life is forever evolving for young people, whose opportunities and responsibilities are constantly increasing like a pile of unwashed laundry. By this, I mean that there is greater pressure than ever to succeed in our learning, which is at its most important right now. If we achieve the necessary grades, so many doors are opened to us, revealing paths that will hopefully lead us to a bright and happy future. As naturally optimistic people who never fail to express enthusiasm in the future, teenagers are excited about what life in twenty, ten or even five years' time could hold.

However, the teenage years are not guaranteed to be a smooth transition into adulthood because we have many obstacles to leap over like an Olympic athlete first - and what is more terrifying than sitting numerous exams to reach the other side? At times, I have to pinch myself to confirm that I'm not trapped in a remake of Scream, where terror (though not necessarily in the form of a ghoulish mask) stalks me wherever I go. As wonderful as learning usually is, the pressure that comes with showing off your knowledge has the potential to occasionally enter frightening territory - eek!

Although I often force myself to resist the urge to scream like a howling victim in a horror film, I have found peace - as light and fluffy as the first bite into a vanilla marshmallow - by writing. Like my cats popping their claws into a balloon, writing releases the anxiety that, if I let myself fly into full drama-queen mode, would truly overwhelm me.

Sometimes, it's easy to forget that your hormones can take advantage of you, but the one thing that you should always try to remember is that only yourself is able to control them. Though there are times when we wonder whether we are being tugged at like a puppet, we have the independence and freedom to tell ourselves that a hissy fit is not called for. Still, I suppose that we might fall into the old way of thinking that our parents are in charge of our behaviour as was the case years ago!

Anyway, today I'd like to offer you an insight into a diary-like entry of mine, which will give you a free pass into accessing the thoughts and mind of a modern teen. Based on my thoughts and feelings from the past week, now is mainly the first time that I can let them go (rather like Princess Elsa!) without exploding like a volcano in my bedroom. As if my mum deserves to be cleaning up hot lava the day before Mother's Day...

Dear Diary, (which, by the way, I NEVER say when writing in my diary - it is such a eight year old thing, you know?)

I. Am. Absolutely. Exhausted. No kidding. After nearly a week of early starts, styling my hair into a look which isn't far off a poodle's fur and rushing out the door quicker than Usain Bolt at nearly eight thirty in the morning, I seriously need to catch up on some sleep. Sleep! Even though I stayed in bed until ten this morning (despite technically being awake since eight), I could transport myself to the Land of Rest at this very moment. Now, I'm really kicking myself for staying up until past eleven last night - no wonder I feel like I've got a hangover! 

On another subject, I amazed myself by not having a heart attack before attending my weekly Zumba class last night. Was it the night before's shocking episode of Revenge or the out-of-the-blue realisation that I have to catch up on The Vampire Diaries? Neither! Whilst playing with my phone (as always before an extremely intensive workout), I checked the calendar for 24th April, which is a Friday. 

My heart in my mouth, I had to keep my cool in a room full of parents and young children. HOW is it fair that I, a hard-working teen, has to be sitting a mock exam on a FRIDAY?! Does this world have any compassion for me or what? So much for getting pumped up for the weekend - I'll have the greatest ever hurdle to overcome before I reach it!

Oh yes, how could I abandon mentioning it? After two brilliant weeks off for Easter, I will be sitting my mock exams, which will determine which sets (who can influence the grades and standards you aim for) I'll be in next year. Although 'mock' means that, unlike a GCSE exam, don't go towards your grade, they aren't something to be laughed about - definitely not a crying-with-hysterical-laughter matter! 

And the most terrifying thing of all? I've never even sat an exam. Don't even expect me to count the stupid 11+ exam I sat when I was ten, which undermined the abilities of home-educated pupils - mock exams are far more important! So far, I only know the rough dates of my Core Science and Sociology exam (which unfortunately falls on 24th April - what a super fun Friday that will be!), and I have absolutely no idea when I'll get my exam timetable. In fact, I doubt that I'll have exams in Performing Arts and ICT, but I'm freaking out at the thought of the Math exam/s - I'm not even sure how many I'll have!

Ugh, I sometimes feel like a show pony who is forever being glammed up and put through its pace to be marked on perfection: beneath the frost-like surface, pressure is swimming within me. Yet, to my amazement, I'm getting on with it fine - but doesn't everybody find a way around tough things like these? 

At the end of the day, I just know that all of this effort will be worth it - and the thought of attending my first day of sixth form (and leading a Maths-free life!) keeps me going when I feel that all is impossible. Learning it might be difficult, but I'm being taught about the importance of working hard to get what you want. Hopefully in a years' time, it will pay off big time. As if I'll settle for anything less!


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