Sweet, Sugary Half-Term Fun

Hi, I thought that I'd check up here as the new week - one of which includes a half-eaten box of Black Magic chocolates and an evil-eyed kitten staring intently at a pile of uncracked eggs a single leap away on the kitchen worktop - officially commences, as does the blissful seven days of pure relaxation, otherwise known as half-term.

Unless you are not familiar with the schooling system in the cloudy-as-ever UK (despite being home-educated, I still follow the wacky examples set out by the government and struggling curriculum, for that matter), there are typically three terms in every school year and so far I'm half-way through the second, jotting down French expressions at a moment's notice and participating in online Law-themed quizzes which, if a generous proportion of my acne-suffering peers suggests, would be deemed as quite an insult towards those who clearly have no intent to catch up with Law and Order any time soon. Overall, I take immense pride in studying and nothing brings me greater pleasure than passing an English test with flying colours (or whichever shades of my denim blue jeans happen to be caught on the Chelsea kit-stained colourcatcher), yet I feel pretty relieved to be spending a week dedicated to whatever I wish to do and writing about my views today certainly counts as one of my yet-unfulfilled wishes. 

Anyway, don't worry about having sit down to an essay-long post about Valentine's Day-related commercialism or the pile load of mineral foundation I coat onto my spotty face almost every morning as I have other ideas upon my tie-dye jumper's sleeve: thanks to my optimistic mood, I feel like discussing something which has a strong presence in my life and brings plenty of joy whenever used to my own advantage. In all honesty, this item is not something which I have on a near-daily basis, otherwise I would never find the courage to forgive myself for falling into the watchful gaze of temptation oh-too-easily - really, the twice-yearly trip to the dentist has all but sent ice-cold chills down my spine since I watched a hilarious, yet terrifying scene in the Little Shop of Horrors at the age of twelve. The thought of having something pulled out of my lipstick-coated mouth so horrifically usually provokes me to pull myself - and endless hunger - together within an instant, but I do find it difficult to walk past the cupboard without taking a peek inside at the contents and ultimately stealing one or two of my brother's beloved Jelly Babies from time to time. 

Maybe my nationality plays a huge role in my child-like passion for sweets - after all, I almost have to place my hand over my lips to prevent an excited squeal slipping out at the sight of 50s-style sweet jars sold in the local newsagents' - but in general I purely have a sweet, sugar-craving tooth which is never quite satisfied until the strongly-coveted duty has taken place, and I can return to Planet Earth without the fear of losing control at the non-existence liquorice allsorts all but consuming my entire attention. Also, teenagers fall harder than a crumbling cliff when it comes to forming a relationship with anything - from going out with that first boyfriend to becoming a semi-permanent resident at a ginormous Forever 21, we are capable of going one step further whilst passion races through our veins because of our endless energy keeping ourselves up and running. 

People of an older age may not be bothered about carrying out a tiresome search for the purple gown you added to your wishlist a year in advance of the upcoming prom, but you - and many others, including myself - won't even dare to think about stopping for a single moment until the mission is finally completed. That's exactly the relationship which I've built with a bag of fruity jelly babies or liquorice twists over the years ago; although I only pick up a bag as an occasional treat every few months or so, it doesn't make a slight dent towards my enjoyment of the mind-blowing flavours which dance like a salsa-jiving Zumba class on the tip of my tongue for one perfect moment. Basically, nothing makes me happier than the short-lived moments I spend with a bag of sweets, and it is all I think about - when Bart the Kitten isn't providing an annoying distraction within the realms of his shredded litter tray - until the final sweet has been swallowed. 

Sure, I might be giving a false impression of being a sugar addict, but I purely appreciate sweets whilst they somehow manage to last a few days on the cupboard shelf; realizing that my brother shares a similarity to a Dyson hoover, it truly is a wonder that anything remotely sweet remains untouched for any longer than the 90 minute-long duration of a football match. But that's just me, I suppose. 

Down below are a couple of reviews describing various sweets I've tried over the years (a few of which may only be available on England), so be warned: not everything lying on a shelf in the confectionary aisle at the shops is guaranteed to achieve the sugar-induced level of happiness which us moody teenagers are constantly seeking. Or, in my case, made me feel a million times worse... 

Liquorice Allsorts: Despite 'liquor' being featured in the name, I can happily assure that these sweets are definitely alcohol-free - otherwise your parents would probably want the whole bag to themselves! 

In a short description, liquorice allsorts are a basic mixture of colourful sweets, the colours of which range from snow-white to punk-inspired pink, though the liquorice - minus the added sugar and hint of cocoa - is supposedly healthy for oneself as a natural treatment. Hence the reason for which I usually turn towards a bag of oh-so-sugary liquorice allsorts whenever a runny nose or sore throat sneaks upon me during the middle of a bitterly cold winter; you see, I make an effort to time the rare occasions I appreciate junk food! 

Why I love them so much, I really couldn't tell you, but I guess that I like them so greatly is that my maternal grandmother shared a fondness for them as well, so every single sweet I plonk into my mouth (which, by the way, isn't many because I seriously have no desire to let my teeth rot in a liquorice-coated hell) is a sort of tribute towards her memory. 

Also, one of the greatest things about liquorice allsorts - the description is truly in the name, if you haven't already noticed - is that every single one is different, so sticking your hand into a bag and finding a different variety never becomes boring at all! Unless I come across those liquorice-free blue or pink sweets...

Jelly Babies: I just typed in 'jelly babies' on Google and discovered that they are indeed sold in America via shopping haven Amazon, so hopefully any Americans wandering through this blog may be familiar with this famous British sweet. 

Since falling in love with these at a young age, I've always remained loyal towards the coloured gelatine-filled jelly babies, all of which come in a variety of different colours. Personally, my favourite is the half-blackcurrant, half-black sweet because I'm naturally attracted towards goth-inspired colours like a shoe-buying addict to a Christian Louboutin store, but all of the flavours - from green to yellow to the cute little pink baby - taste delicious, regardless of the naturally flavoured colours. 

Unlike the liquorice allsorts above - some of which contain a bit of fat due to the usage of dessicated coconut - these jelly babies are completely fat-free, but this fact doesn't give me permission to chunk the whole contents down my throat within one serving! A couple at a time is the perfect serving and permits me to take one or two from the bag directly a while later; a trick which my jelly baby-adoring brother hasn't quite realized yet... 

If I had to choose between liquorice allsorts and jelly babies, I would truly struggle to pick my ultimate favourite because both are special in various ways. Personally, I lean slightly more towards jelly babies as I can still faintly remember having them during childhood, whilst I've only grown to appreciate liquorice allsorts within recent years. But I'd still have both if the option was available!

Milk Bottles: Of late, I haven't really had any of these glass-free bottles due to the sharp rise of this product in recent years, so I'm purely depending on my then-loving taste during childhood, where a couple of milk bottles were standard within a bag of Haribos from time to time. 

Although I still drink two glasses of it every day, milk has never stood out as a favourite drink of mine, but I've always liked these milk bottles because they manage to replicate a milky flavour without using any real milk - just how would that be possible? 

Squidgy and creamy in texture, I love milk bottles because they look like healthier sweets but, as you well know, looks can be extremely deceiving! Now that I'm talking about it, I hope to be able to purchase a small bag of these within the near future as I'm literally dying to revisit the vanilla flavours which I know so well; some things never change, huh?

Cola Bottles: For the sugary goodness which I miss out on my occasionally-consumed cans of caffeine-free Diet coke, I certainly make up for it with these sweets which, as the name rightfully suggest, are presented in the dainty form of Coca Cola-inspired bottles.
A reason for which I fondly enjoy a couple of cola bottles is that they are remarkably plainish in flavour, a trait which I commonly prefer as I don't always wish to be overwhelmed with a powerful sweetness - plenty of people must agree, otherwise cola bottles wouldn't be more popular than ever!
And, unless the secret has not yet been revealed to you, those who take their time whilst eating stand a higher chance of keeping their weight stable. Considering that it takes me half an hour to chew my way into a single cola bottle, I think that I'm doing fine as it is...

And the treats which I don't find so sweet...

Toffee: One word defines my life-long hatred of toffee for which, despite the vast amount of Quality Street chocolates being handed over to me over the ages, I've never developed a sticky-toothed passion: disgusting.
If the thought of having your teeth literally stuck together for ages doesn't revolt you, toffee is just right up your alley - and couldn't possibly be further from mine! I would have to lose all sense of myself to fall in love with the stickiness which typically comes within a wrapped rectangle as the scent of it brings me an unpleasant wave of nausea, so you needn't question why I regularly argue with my sticky-lipped brother.
As I usually get confused between the two, I also count fudge as a treat which is way too sweet for my liking - since overindulging on one too many Cadbury's Fudge bars a few Christmases ago, I have never felt the same way about them since. Eat at your peril!

Cough candy: Why this was called candy, I truly don't know; until I took one whiff of the bag on an occasion where I was ironically suffering from a cough, I had never realized that herbs were the main ingredients within these so-called 'treats'.
Cue a sick feeling spreading all over me and a desire to chuck my breakfast out of the window - I had never felt more unwell in my entire life until I tried a cough candy, which ultimately found its way into the dusty realms of the kitchen bin.
To my horror, both my dad and brother started to chew on these solid sweets - which look rather like sherbets, minus the tangling flavour and desired sweetness - all the time and I couldn't bear to stand in the same room as them, unless they didn't mind the sight of my heaving at the horrid stench and a paleness like never before turning my face the shade of Casper the Ghost.
Just don't eat these unless you are capable of eating literally anything on this planet; even writing about cough candy is bringing back terrible memories of illness, so I'm going to stop before the first round of nausea arrives.


And so, you can pretty much tell that I, the health fanatic teenager, has an undeniable penchant for all things sugary. From liquorice allsorts to milk bottles, I crave different varieties of sweets for various reasons and will probably continue to adore them for the rest of my life, if old-fashioned traditions remain true.

Right now, a yet-unfinished bag of sweets is calling my name (or so I wish to believe) and I don't particularly wish to ignore it any longer!