Panicking Like Mad Over Results Day

As is the case with thousands of teenagers across the country, I'm currently awaiting my GCSE results which, within eleven days' time, will be released to my increasingly impatient self: a moment that will mark the very beginning of my future. Terrifying, is it not, to have my future determined by one set of exam results that, despite sitting the very last one of all nearly two months ago, seem so separated and unfamiliar in my life - well, I suppose that my post-exam cocktail of Netflix, books and continuous playtime with my four cats has certainly helped me to forget that Pythagoras Theorem once played a prominent role in my academic alias earlier this summer!

In fact, a KitKat-sized chunk of myself (thanks to my clever creation of a fat-free Greek yoghurt ice cream with - you've guessed it - bits of KitKats mixed through it) is even wondering whether I sat my GCSEs this summer because I've completely lost track of time in the sense that my newly-plucked eyebrows wouldn't even rise in surprise if years had passed since I cantered out of my final exam (bolting away from the hideous first question on my Physics paper, of course!).

Strangely, I somewhat feel as though I've already embarked on the rocky and riotous road that university hopefuls have endured on their quest to A Level success thanks to completing the transition packs that my first-choice sixth form gave me, which has further aided in my brain's mission to completely purify itself of GCSE Bitesize, GCSEPod and MyGCSEScience (basically anything beginning with a G and ending in an E!). Still, would I have the faintest clue on how to answer questions on specimen papers for my selected A Level choices? Unless I'd managed to find an intelligently hidden bottle of vodka in the house (which even Nancy Drew would know does not exist) and I swapped an evening of PLL-bingeing for revising my specific subjects like my life depended on it, I probably would be an odds-on favourite to not be able to write an introduction as an answer, let alone actually answer the question itself! Hmm, hopefully I'll be able to look back at this in a years' time and laugh like a hoarse evil witch at my present inability to cope with A Level work... or cry with morbid shame if little has changed over the next twelve months!

Anyway, I suppose that living in limbo - which is pretty much the institution to which I've been moved ever since my exams were over because, until 25th August rolls around, I cannot even guarantee my place at the sixth form of my heavenly and oh-so-perfect dreams (although gut instinct, when able to burst through my niggling doubts and sea-deep worries, tells me that such a fantasy is within reach) - has created this barrier of isolation from my exams and the future ahead of me, which is quickly approaching. Seriously, I will living my future by this time next month at sixth form - though I cannot definitely say which one I will be studying at, which frustrates me all the more that, in comparison to last year, Results Day is being held much later in August.

Whereas last years' cohort received their results on 20th, I, along with thousands of fellow worriers (surely I can't just be the only one who is enduring Results Day hallucinations?), have been condemned to an extra five days until our doom - or, if I want to inject a bit of positivity into this post, paradise - is revealed. Honestly, my heart breaks for those awaiting their A Level results, which will be released next Thursday, because peoples' lives depend all the more on their A Level grades - it could make the life-changing difference between going to or missing out on university. Therefore, getting results a few days earlier make all the difference; exam papers can be remarked sooner, which could ensure that students won't lose out on offers from universities, while universities could provide more support before they are no longer able to offer places.

Obviously, one could say that students were unfortunate to have to wait a bit longer than usual this year - believe me, I've been wishing that my GCSE results didn't have to coincide with a leap year, which is the reason why results days for all students have been pushed back - but every single day seems as lengthy and slow as a year right now, regardless of how close I already am to receiving my envelope and ripping it open in less than a fortnight's time.

To make matters worse, my English Language result has already been released because it came under the iGCSE qualification, whose results day was this Thursday, yet my school refuses to release it to me until Results Day on 25th August. Honestly, thinking that an envelope containing my grade is only eight miles away from my clutches drives me around the bend whenever the thought pops into my head, haunting my fragile emotions. And, of all of my subjects, I'm most nervous about English Language because the exam board is an absolute joke - well, obtaining a D in a mock exam seems rather unlikely for an aspiring English teacher, doesn't it? Without a doubt, I'm not settling for anything less than an A* in English Language, yet it pains me like a blade stabbing my heart to consider that, if my school bothered to provide its students with usernames to access their iGCSE results online, I could have found out what I obtained by now. Hence why I'm trying to avoid using the internet when possible because most iGCSE candidates have been discussing their results on student forums and social media - meanwhile, I feel like an outsider peeping into something that I am entitled to be part of!

Nevertheless, Results Day will finally be in sight from tomorrow onwards because I can say that I'll getting them next week - certainly much better than the two months that they once were, isn't it? Undoubtedly, what will be will be, but I just hope that my results will be exactly what I've been hoping for. Life has taught me to never expect things to go the way that you cannot stop yourself from expecting them to because it only leads to self-disappointment, which is the bitterest flavour to wash away. Alas, I'm trying to prepare myself for obtaining grades that may not be in line with what I would like because, as is the case with strangers and examiners, I trust absolutely no one - especially when these grades concern my future, which is as precious and important to me as life itself.

Well, I'd love to be gushing and crying happily (without my waterproof mascara budging one bit!) on 25th August, but I'm so worried about getting myself tangled in a web of disappointment if I indulge in these ideal fantasies, which seem way too good to be true! In the meantime, let's focus my attention on escaping the worry-inducing wrath of social media over the next eleven days...