Sunday, 14 February 2016

Releasing My Half-Term Rant

At. Long. Last. Half-term is here!!!

Like a six year old enduring the sweetest sugar high that one can only dream of experiencing, I'm somewhat bouncing off the walls because of the very fact that I have one delightful week away from early starts, packed lunches (as there are only so many times that I can gaze at a box of dry-as-paper raisins without wanting to cry!) and homework.

OK, my physical movements might not necessarily reflect my oh-so-energetic feelings, but undoubtedly I'm over the moon that a single week of relaxation (albeit to a certain extent) has been offered to me like one winning the Lottery jackpot, which I'm so grateful for! To be honest, simply having the opportunity to paint my nails a startlingly bold shade of black is more than enough to set me in an extremely vibrant mood because, on one of a few occasions, I honestly feel like myself again; instead of being clad in a uniform that I neither like (as the skirt I have to wear truly resembles baggy curtains, which is clearly a major fashion faux pas) nor feel comfortable in, I'm free to wear as much make-up, skinny jeans and indeed eye-popping nail varnishes as my heart desires for a couple of days, which I'll certainly make the most of.

Without a doubt, the seemingly 'insignificant' things in life truly make a difference and, with a matter of weeks instead of hundreds of months until the living hell that is my exam period is finally over, I know better than to take anything for granted.

Consequently, my upcoming exams are to blame for my rather quiet stance on the blogging front of late, which frustrates me far more than any half-teary-eyed apologies could ever convey because I constantly need to keep on top of my numerous priorities and responsibilities - a role that, at times, I would be quite relieved to scream au revoir to like a celebrity throwing a hissy fit on the red carpet. Therefore, I can't always indulge in the activities that my heart aches to participate in - blogging included - because, while I'm still up to my eyeballs in thousands of revision cards and past exam questions, my job remains unfinished and will stay so until approximately half ten on the morning of Friday 17th June, which will signal the very end of my exams and time at my current school. Even at this present time, the faintest thought of that day fills me with more delight than a half-litre bottle of Pepsi Max ever could - such positivity injects a much-needed boast of morality during the difficult moments in which I occasionally ask myself whether all of my suffering has been worth it.

Well, to put it bluntly, my suffering is not yet over and, in some ways, is only going to worsen over this next week; not at all helped or supported by an astonishing lack of leadership at my school! Upon receiving a revision timetable to fill in with my exam dates earlier this week, it rather magically dawned on me that my Sociology teacher - who had taken over from my previous one after the summer, who was undoubtedly one of the best and kindest teachers I've had - had not taught my class a single bit of a particular unit that accounts for 60% of the overall marks on the second exam paper.

Considering that ONLY fourteen weeks remain until my two Sociology exams - which, unlike the majority of my subjects, is 100% exam-based - are held, realising that you need to learn a major unit from scratch definitely deserves to create a major panic!!! In fact, I ought to be at a stage where I'm simply revising what I should have already been taught - as is the case in nearly all of my subjects - yet these roles seem to have been reversed. And, to further contribute to my ever-growing fireball of adolescent angst, my teacher was absent from my annual Parent's Evening earlier this week - what an idyllic way of preparing me for my closer-than-ever exams!

While I'm fighting the urge to explode like a volcano and spill my lava - or acid-infused words - all over the ones who lit my anger into a raging inferno, I realise that the only way that I can move forward is working through whatever needs to be done; primarily studying the Sociology unit toute seule which, as I developed an invaluable ability to work independently during my seven years of home-schooling, will hardly faze me. Still, juggling my Sociology studies with revising for another round of mock exams - albeit solely on Maths and English, one of which will take place on a Monday morning over the course of four weeks - and general revision is an unwelcome addition to my endless hassles, especially as it should have never arisen in the first place!

In fact, one of my teachers - Performing Arts - told me at Parent's Evening to relax a bit more because of having already done so much work (this really is not an exaggeration - my 10.500 word essay on Wicked certainly proves so!), which I would absolutely love to do as getting worked up and stressed out is a perfect cocktail for disaster, yet what am I supposed to do if the ones to whom I should apparently 'look up to' let me down? I'm tired of relying on people - particularly teachers who are paid thousands of pounds for knowing what they and their pupils should be doing - when, if I increasingly embraced my home-schooling heritage, I could get on with my work alone.

However, neither I nor any other students in my position should be forced to adopt this attitude, which just reiterates the failures present in the chaotic education system; I only hope that I can enter this sector and improve the problems that are currently destroying the teaching profession like a flesh-eating plague.

Rant over, I'm nonetheless determined to not allow any barriers - especially ones that needn't exist - stop me from achieving my aspirations, which will only improve how deserving I and fellow people like myself are of the success we crave. Besides, I'm looking forward to chilling out by meeting up with an old friend of mine, who I met in primary school around twelve years ago - even just saying that makes me feel so old! Shopping, eating out and chatting about how we're doing is exactly the kind of therapy I need; how I wish that Wednesday was already here!

As the rest of Sunday awaits, I shall be returning to my Sociology studies - which, for the record, isn't that difficult to revise for because it rather relies on the principles of common sense - before crimping my hair, so here's hoping that I won't resemble a gothic poodle in a little while!

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