Reaching One Finish Line... and Approaching Another

Yes, yes, yes! Like winning a competition, I'm in line to receiving a reward for my hard-working efforts: two magical days off at the end of a particularly testing week. At last I can wake up in the actual morning - not the dead-still nighttime - and procrastinate over when to bother moving my leg, let alone rolling out of bed, for as long as my oh-so-lazy self likes. On Friday nights, a key is handed over to me, unlocking many doors which are slammed shut in front of my face from Sunday evening to Friday morning: after days of waiting, my access to freedom has finally been reinstated, and is as glorious as ever.

However, this weekend will stand out more prominently than the one I spent taking numerous selfies and baked (along with tasting) chocolate chip brownies, which coincidentally ended up in the glare of my smartphone lens. The reason why? I'm turning sixteen in two days' time and, to be pretty honest with you, there is absolutely no way that I can resist the urge to brag about it - if I ever seized the opportunity, I would explode with excitement like an uncorked bottle of champagne!

Although I was existing in a bubble miles away from Planet Earth earlier this week, I eventually plucked the courage to burst it and return to the universe a short while ago: restraining myself from doing so became way too hard to resist and, like one who is eyeing up a bag of Maltesers in front of him, I had to dive in at one point or another. Well, how could I not? Albeit a tad late, I'm starting to realise what a massive occasion your sixteen birthday is - spreading a joy that is nearly as contagious as my callous cold! 

After wasting precious hours on worrying over what to do during my birthday weekend, I settled on the idea of visiting Nandos, a restaurant chain that is renowned for its special Peri-Peri chicken and healthy meals (think McDonalds without enough fat to make you have a heart attack!), which, unlike most of the teenagers I know, I've never been to before. In all honesty, I've only gotten more daring with fast food chains in the past year or so - until last March, I'd never experienced the satisfying flavour of a KFC meal. November also marked another rite of passage for me when I developed a taste for Subway and their six-inch long subs, which I managed to LikeATeen-ify with lashings of cucumber, peppers, tomatoes and grilled chicken breast: to get an idea of how keen I was to keep the calorie count extremely low, consider what Gwyneth Paltrow would do in my situation, though the carb-rich bun might have been left out!

Despite my lack of experience with restaurant chicken, I'm really looking forward to seeing what the huge fuss is all about at Nandos and hopefully developing a passion for it: surely I won't be the only one untouched by the No-Bones-About-It platter? I hope not! 

As for my birthday, my activities are partially limited due to my brother playing in a football match on the same day (the curse of weekend football strikes again), so my current plan is getting acquainted with my new smartphone, a beautiful Sony Xperia, which I've been dying to use in public (without my parents catching me take ridiculously Photoshopped selfies!) ever since it arrived several months ago. 

In addition to this, I'm also going to be receiving several surprise gifts, whose statuses I've luckily managed not to uncover (though that could all change over the next twenty four hours!), and I get excited whenever thinking about what they could be. Christmas was not only full of so many wonderful surprises, but I pretty much received all that I could have asked for - hence why searching for birthday gifts this year has proved to be such an irritating pain! Regardless of my age, I'll always reserve a love for surprises: the magic is as strong as ever!

Therefore, I suppose that is where I want to leave today's entry at - the magic is buzzing madly, and my excitement is building faster than I can even begin to comprehend. A great weekend awaits me and I cannot put off the urge to leap into its embrace for a moment longer. 

See you on the other side, a year older (and perhaps an inch taller)!

Songs For... Keeping You Going 'Till The Weekend

Need something to perk you up as you approach the weekend like a speeding bullet, pulsing with as much energy as a can of Coca Cola? Sugar might be a teenager's best friend at times, but there are occasions when we must push our Percy Pig cravings aside and work on a long-term solution; or, at least, a solution that will keep you satisfied for several hours on a chilly January evening.

My ears may unfortunately not have access to Spotify during the long day, yet the music that I love so much forever sings in my head, thumping like an over-excited crowd member at a riotous nightclub. In the funny little world that is called my imagination, I'm existing in a foreign place that couldn't possibly be further away from the noisy, motivated environment in which I spend over a quarter of my day during the week. 

In my opinion, music is a release from the stress that, if you didn't have any breaks from reality, would expand and eventually result in an all-mighty explosion; as soon as I catch wind of a beautiful melody, my heart stops beating so ferociously, calming into a steady murmur. Music can be described as so many beautiful things - charming, uplifting, glorious - yet one word particularly stands out for me: liberating. 

After getting home from a place in which I've spent the past seven or so hours of my life, putting on my earphones and losing myself to the husky whisper of Lana Del Rey's vocals on West Coast makes me feel as free as a released prisoner - no longer am I tied to any chains or compulsion to work erratically like a Duracell bunny. 

Along with having a bite to eat, slipping out of my skintight uniform and slathering on as much lipstick as I want, another joy of arriving home is being able to listen to music: as soon as I find my gingerbread-themed earphones from the drawer, my heart flutters yet again, though for reasons entirely different to pre-test nerves. Only when you experience that feeling do you realise how astonishing, brilliant and wonderful it is: a special package neatly wrapped up for only yourself to rip open!

Anyway, I'd like to present a lovely package (adorned with a pretty red bow) to you on this Thursday - my list of current favourite songs. Enjoy!

1. Lana Del Rey - Ultraviolence

2. Lana Del Rey - Carmen 
(Before you even say it, I've been listening to a lot of Lana Del Rey recently!)



3. Soul II Soul - Keep on Movin'



4. Pussycat Dolls - Sway

Overcoming the Party-Stopping Pathogens

My birthday might be here at the end of this week, yet the bubble in which I was happily living in over the weekend has burst, splattering a glorious mess all over the beige carpet in my bedroom. Not a chaos that my brother would willingly clean up for me, even if I did hand him a pound (which he hasn't bothered giving back to me) to spend on sweets and whatever junk a fourteen year old boy falls for.

The reasons for the cause of this oh-so-disastrous mess are the following:

1) I've got a cold (AGAIN!)

Little more than a week after I made a mostly full recovery from a horrible combination of a cold/dry-as-an-over-baked-cake sore throat, I woke up with a painful ache in my mouth yesterday morning. Thus, yet another round of horror commences, draining me of the little energy reserved for things such as getting through the school day and, um, not falling asleep at the dinner table as soon as the sun hides behind a starlit sky. 

Above all, being unwell turns me into the most annoying person that you could ever meet. If you really have no idea on what I mean, please visualise a young individual who cannot stop - seriously so! - complaining about her woes at any opportunity. Even a light-hearted conversation can be darkened as soon as I bring up how sore my nostrils are after blowing my guts out for the thirteenth time in sixty seconds. What a great way to get into the pre-birthday mood - not! My body definitely has some freaky ideas when it comes to preparing for a celebration...

2) I failed a Maths test

Like a kick to the balls (or perhaps to another sensitive region because I am, rather fortunately, not a boy), I was kneeling over in agony when failing a relatively straight forward Maths test added to my ever-growing list of problems. Having missed one or two lessons several weeks ago due to illness, it was just my luck that the topics explored in those sessions came up in the test which, as hard as I tried, I really couldn't answer. Guessing might work a treat in other subjects, yet I had absolutely no tools or hints to lean onto: pure knowledge was the only way that I would escape such a sticky situation with my dignity partially intact. 

Even though my passion doesn't lie within Maths, I was nonetheless disappointed to be the only one who failed the test, despite being a mere two marks away from passing! I despise nothing more than failure, and feeling like one didn't boost my already low-as-the-bottom-of-the-ocean mood at all.

3) I have no spare time

Due to staying behind after school to attend the newspaper club and catch up on ICT (the coursework of which is actually greater than I originally realised - oh joy!), I've been getting home much later than usual of late and, two nights in, I've already had enough. My heart is crying out for a rest by lunchtime as I fight my way through crowds and piles of work while my immune system repeats its battle against more foreign pathogens: some 'me' time is undoubtedly needed. Yet, what with tests to revise for and coursework to hand in, the only time that I can only relax is when I go to bed. Still, this stupid cold is stopping me from resting peacefully as I can't breathe through my nose - when will this frustration end?

Hence why I've been keeping a low profile on my blogger over the past week which, if time was in plentiful quantities, I would spend gushing over how excited I am about turning sixteen in four days' time. I simply need a break - from school, from routine and especially from all things contaminated with germs.

As you can tell, I'm not in my greatest of moods, particularly because I'll be sitting a test in Science tomorrow (straight after enduring my weekly hour of hell in P.E.) and I really ought to revise for it tonight instead of complaining like a world-class moaner. Deep down, I truly want to get excited about turning sixteen because the excitement was reaching fever pitch at the weekend, but it has since died down and been swept underneath the carpet. 

It's about time that I learn how to separate my school and home life from one another because focusing too much on one is giving less emphasis to the other, unbalancing the equilibrium - something has to give! The truth is that I don't know how! If an after-school club was based on that, perhaps I would bother going along to a session, but never mind...

On the other hand, I cheered up upon receiving the news that I'd been selected as the Student of the Week in my Performing Arts group earlier today, which I hadn't expected at all! At a time when I was doubting my abilities in the subject, I now feel reassured that I'm working well enough and my efforts are being appreciated! Also, the newspaper club is a joy to work for because I let my imagination flow like a river whilst writing top quality articles; within the space of several weeks, I'm already gaining an insight into the environment in which journalists work. And my beloved langue French? Facile comme toujours!

Though my illness might over-ride the positives, I'm now finding more to smile about while I overcome my second round with the winter cold, who better know better than to wreck my birthday! Let the birthday fever take over instead!

(Failing to) Overcome Barriers - Badly!

Phew, I'm soooooo exhausted - no wonder that I'm counting my lucky stars that the weekend has finally arrived! At long last, spare time is sold in such ginormous quantities that the actual figure would send your head into a speedy spin... yet, I ask myself, how do you make the most of it? Squeezing every single second out of time like obtaining the zesty juice from a lemon is a secret that has forever intrigued me, but I'm not any nearer towards discovering its tantalising truth: of all the moments in my life, I really need to find out.

As our urges to listen to one's business spiral out of control, I'll explain before you start pounding on my door, promising to pay me upfront for several sentences to be uttered from my lips (an offer which I'd find a bit hard to resist!). Next weekend marks the end of my year-long tenure as a fifteen year old as I celebrate my big (as it is often described) Sweet 16th. And, as I tend to find by the time that my birthday rolls around the corner every year, I have no idea on what to do. At all.

There are so many words that I could use to describe my annoyance with having not even a miniscule hint of an idea on what I can do to celebrate my 16th in what I'd like to call sophisticated style (which I'm definitely not saying for the sake of using alliteration as my English teacher often advises in writing) - in other words, not spending the entire day trapped in a play centre that would have been my equivalent of paradise around ten years ago! When I'm writing stories or blogging, very little puts a dent to my constant stream of ideas, yet other things - especially major ones such as once-in-a-lifetime birthdays - create more fuss than I can be bothered to deal with.

Honestly, I hardly feel motivated to think about my birthday right now because I don't have the faintest clue on what to do, a problem of which is driving me around the bend like a whole weekend devoted to the FA Cup: I must be very deserving of winning a medal for my efforts to not scream! All that I'm certain of is that, whatever happens, I have to be doing something, but that 'something' is as much of a mystery as a Victoria Secret model's 'naturally' svelte waist.

Maybe the excitement of anticipating my birthday - which has definitely been in the works for quite some time - has finally caught up with me, albeit at the most unfortunate and least convenient time. Society regards your 16th as all-important occasion and that stereotype is heavily played on in books and films, such as the 80s teen classic Sixteen Candles which perfectly depicts the trouble of celebrating one of the greatest birthdays in your life - and trying to live up to the 'ideal' image that is inserted into your mind. As cringe-worthy as it may sound, I dream of having a birthday identical to a film, in which the heroine gets the boy or wears such a fabulous dress that all the girls at her school are practically seething with envy. Obviously, that's the trouble with comparing your life to a John Hughes movie, but those films which I deeply love have somehow caught me out in between fantasy and reality - hence why nothing seems to be good enough to do on my birthday.

If only I'd identified this fault sooner - plenty of exaggerated sighs, see-through stares and comments dripping with sarcasm like a dripping tap could have been prevented! But, on reflection, I'm struggling to see how that would have been possible because of being so wrapped up (like my new-and-so-far only birthday present, a Sony Xperia smartphone) in everything completely unrelated to birthdays, gifts and relatively healthy-ish chocolate cakes, such as school. Though the process is drawing closer towards ending with each passing day, I'm still in the transition of settling into my new school, which has practically defined me ever since the new term began several weeks ago. It is so easy to lose myself in the likes of Animal Farm, French terms and, though I wince as I write it, graph lines that everything else can be simply forgotten about; unfortunately, sorting out my birthday has fallen into this category! Although my priorities may be in order at school, I doubt that the same can be said about planning what will so far be my biggest birthday...

Never mind looking back on the past: the question is what I must do is resolve this problem? Once again, I am as lost as a hiker in the Sahara Desert on coming up with any reasonable suggestions, let alone reaching a decision. Like a chocolate addict, I'm deprived of what inspires me most, creating a blockage that I feel incapable of getting past.

Despite living in the area for almost a year, I'm still relatively new to discovering new places and what is in them; only the day before I went back to school did I visit the cinema for the first time in over a year, so it takes a while to try things out! Annoyingly, absolutely no films of interest to me on being shown at the cinema on my birthday, which always occurs each year - bad luck or what? And, because of my birthday falling on a Sunday, shops are only open for six hours or less, which pretty much limits my options of spending hours in an out-of-town shopping centre. Oh, what will I do?

Instead of re-exploring the points that I've already made, I'll put this matter aside and hope that I will be spared the misery of struggling to sort it out over the next week. Since focusing all my energies on it, my chances of finding that perfect activity have significantly fallen - as some people find, the best ideas come to you when you least expect it. Well, I just hope that tactic works in my favour and, obviously, in time for my most fabulous ever birthday next Sunday...

The World Needs More...

The world needs many things, like food, water, housing and education: also known as the boring things. Yawn!

But wait a second - aren't there other things that we simply can't survive without or need more of? Of course! There are numerous things that I can think of which this planet ought to provide in greater amounts, such as...

Kittens

Look at the image of a young, squealing kitten. How could your heart not melt into a slushy mess?! If I spent all day Googling pictures of 'kittens', I would forever be clearing up the mush that my animal-loving heart would be spilling all over the (cream-coloured) carpet!
Kittens evoke such a powerful happiness within me because they symbolise the one thing that I will always adore: cuteness. Oh, how boring and miserable the world would be if cuteness was wiped from existence! They are such friendly and loveable creatures, who happen to possess the sweetest looks ever... if that isn't happiness, do you honestly know what it is?
Along with the cuteness thing (which kittens definitely have going on), you'd be a world-class idiot to forget the oh-so-obvious fact that kittens love to play - like a teenager's impulse to stay in bed until the early hours of the afternoon, kittens cannot suppress the urge to run around like fools high on cans of Redbull. And, whether you are doing your homework or tucked in bed, kittens won't cater to your needs - hence why we treat them like the babies that they truly are!
Despite the many paw prints that are often left on the table and the distracting cries that they are so professional at producing (usually at the least convenient times!), I love kittens and I cherish every single moment that I spend with them because, even though time tends to go by way too slowly, they transform into adults before you even blink. Though their chunky baby faces may have disappeared by then, their cuteness - and most definitely their mischievous nature - is still intact, and may even be more defined than before!

Spare time

The greatest curse of the teenage years, a lack of spare time can drive a mini adult (or young adult, depending on how tiny you refer to yourself as!) into despair. Or, as I often find, results in a massive tantrum that not even a Hollywood drama queen can replicate. Just don't even go there, OK?
Although we teenagers love having a good o' fashioned moan about boredom, the moaning tendencies dramatically worsen if we are deprived of what I consider to be our human right: spare time. How can we develop a sense of fun if we never have a spare second away from the gruelling world of school, classes and the general things that occupy us in our day-to-day lives? Even watching TV for half an hour is savoured like a luxurious chocolate truffle: I appreciate every mouthful that I taste, knowing that it is a short-lived reprieve from reality.
Plus, if we never have any spare time, how are we expected to use it wisely when we do have it? Lack of experience is never great for anybody, and those being given spare time are no exception - in fact, it can turn into a full-blown nightmare if you don't know to enjoy your spare time, which then leads to boredom and the already-mentioned tearjerker tantrums.
Although working hard is extremely important, I still think that a few more breaks in and out of school life would motivate teenagers to be even more hard-working, proving that there isn't an unequal ratio of work and play as some of us wonder.
Spare time is an asset to society because it owns a key that many other things cannot open: happiness!

Chocolate

Why even bother going into full detail on this one? Everyone must know how deeply I adore cocoa and the fine chocolate that is produced from its flavoursome beans - the more the better!

However...

I'd like to see less of the cheaply produced chocolate bars, such as Cadbury's and Hershey's, which taste absolutely vile when compared to the likes of less sugary chocolate. Despite my allegiance to chocolate, it doesn't mean that all types will be defended by me - Creme Eggs better watch out!

Love (though not entirely because of this very yummy-looking cupcake)

Without love, how can we ever establish peace? Without peace, does the world stand a chance of striking a friendship with happiness? The list could go on forever, but I'll cut this one short because only one thing matters: love.
Love is essential in practically everything we do - helping others, making friends, even cooking a meal! If anything apart from science keeps the world spinning, love would undoubtedly be its power source - how else would our hearts beat so passionately?
It is the root of my passions, which keeps them alive and makes me into a stronger being. Even though I don't really give it a second thought, I realise the strength that love has and appreciate the gifts that it has handed over to me throughout my life.
But do we need more of it? Of course. If the world is constantly evolving, so is love, hence our requirement for greater amounts of it. The population figures are forever rising, our technology never stops expanding and our intelligence has yet to be given an impossible challenge... For as long as this world exists, our need for love will never die - only when love has beaten its last heart beat is the moment when we no longer need it.

Poems

Written by LikeATeen - Copyright LikeATeen 2015

Without

'Love is not love without heat

A fire that warms you like a genial hug

Passion is not passion without intensity

which burns like a fierce flame

Style is not style without sophistication 

An image that we uncontrollably crave to live up to 

Desire is not desire without yearning

which aches like the remains a broken heart

Irreplaceable and forever unbeaten.'

What Lies

'Childhood is a glorious gift

As my mother usually says

There you embark on the learning tree

A fascinating figure

You climb, you fall and you get back on again

Teaching you lessons that school doesn't provide

Yet taking on responsibilities is far from easy

and, at times, rather scary

Oh, why didn't my mother tell me that?

The piercing panic that sets in like superglue when you get a bad report record

The traumatic nightmares as haunting as ghosts because you don't know a thing about nuclei

And the moment when you realise that it isn't quite a glorious gift after all

What lies!

Adulthood is a thrilling time

As your father loves to tell you

There are so many experiences in the world

waiting to be enjoyed your fun-seeking self

Parties, friendships, opportunities, maybe a dash of love...

Oh why, didn't my father warn me of the drawbacks to love?

The stinging sadness when that boy doesn't call

The harrowing heartbreak that hits your heart like a bullet if he ignores you

his love-filled stare focused elsewhere

And the exact second when, once the booze has worn off, it dawns on you that it isn't quite a thrilling time after all

What lies!

What lies upon you are two pressurising periods in your life

that forever stay with you, like a tattoo permanently etched on your skin

There are thrills to get high on and glory to bask in like a spell of warm sunshine

But we cannot escape our fate: learning about humanity

What lies we are told by not realising sooner!'

Changes

'There are moments when I laugh

and light up the room with a glow brighter than a candle's shadow

Or I plaster on my greatest grin

sharing the sunshine that shimmers within myself among those surrounding me

All is well when happiness is blessing me with her warm embrace

planting her positive seeds in my nature like one growing a flower

Yet all changes when I remain silent

sending a chilly message to those who dare to surround me

Or I release a heart-wrenching sob

My body vibrating with sprinkles of sadness instead of sunshine

Nothing could be more wrong than when misery has broken in my soul

stealing my possessions and the person whom I know inside out

and leaving only my remains behind in its wake

Like the weather, I flit between various states

Sunny spells one day, torrential rain the next

How the changes exhaust me!'

'

Dealing with Annoying Brothers

How I survive every single day is as mystifying as an episode of Sherlock: I simply don't know how I do it. Not to draw comparisons to a forgettable Sarah Jessica Parker film, but it does amaze me how I get through the day without exploding into a hot, lava-like mess.

The reason why? I am the sister of a younger, deeply annoying brother whose main ambition in life is mostly to drive me around the bend - a full-time occupation with no paid leave. As if my brother even cares about being paid a wage - the angry look on my face is worth more than an entire year's salary!

Irritating your older and typically female sibling appears to be a trait instilled into most young males, or so I feel: very few boys I know are exempt from the have-to-annoy-a-girl-gene, which makes all girls' childhoods an absolute atrocity when growing up with a brother. My parents may sternly tell my brother off when he takes his jokes way too far, but it doesn't prevent him from trespassing into illegal territory on another occasion: like a stick, he keeps prodding me with it over and over again.

Hence why I ask myself how I keep my cool and don't erupt like a volcano every single time that my brother flashes a cheeky grin that faintly masks his devilish nature. Years of experience may significantly help, but I nonetheless get as annoyed as my eight year old self when my brother decides to talk over my favourite TV programmes - a habit which even my parents are immune from. Instead of hoping that he would grow out of his let's-annoy-LikeATeen tendencies, I now spend my time praying that he won't live up to his highly irritating persona: if only I appreciated the mind-occupying powers of weekend football a bit more.

Despite sometimes reserving a special anger that is only unleashed when he pushes me to the edge, there is no denying that I love my brother because, on the occasions that mischief isn't glinting in his forest green eyes, he is warm, friendly and rather caring, though the latter is often forgotten when he sneakily drinks all of the Diet Cokes before I touch one! Because of this, I somewhat reluctantly accept the saying 'boys will be boys' because, underneath the machoness, a kind-hearted boy exists: the brother whom I admire and adore massively. Sadly, I sometimes lose sight of this when my brother is hellbent on winding me up for his own pleasure - making one lose their temper is hardly what I'd consider to be an admirable act! No wonder why I'll never understand a teenage boy's humour...

Having had a younger brother for fourteen years, I've gradually gained the status of an expert in the keeping-yourself-sane-with-a-wild-monster sector as I've older older and have (unfortunately) been on the receiving end of my brother's unamusing jokes. Sometimes, I've had no choice but to rely on my parents' advice, yet neither of them grew up with a little brother - the past fourteen years of my life have been like an experiment as I've had to figure out methods of keeping my cool all by myself. Not particularly what you may call an easy feat!

If you're in need of getting a grip with younger brother (or even sister) blues, read on for some top quality, tried-and-tested advice. Who knows, it might be a temper-saver...

1) Ignore him
Most likely the advice that you'll be given by your parents, who are so frustrated at hearing you moan that they'll only mention the most glaringly obvious - and ineffective - suggestion. In my experience, ignoring my younger brother sometimes works, though it depends on how determined he is to irritate me beyond belief. If he has little else to do, he will carry on regardless of how much I'm ignoring him, or paying more attention than I usually would to my Chemistry work (which he already knows that I don't particularly like). The more that he remains in my presence, the less patience I have - resulting in my being unable to ignore him for longer than five seconds. Ugh, ignoring somebody extremely distracting is far easier said than done - ignore at your own peril!

2) Yell like mad for help
The most trustworthy trick in the book, yelling at the top of your lungs for your mum and dad - who really cannot ignore a frustrated cry whilst trapped in a car - works wonders. If your dad is around, expect a spine-tingling yell to escape his lips, which makes your brother shake in his fluorescent Nike football boots. The air is suddenly subdued, as your brother's naughtiness is drained away, dripping like a leaking tap. You sit in a corner, fighting the urge to grin like The Joker, pleased to no longer being subjected to an annoying campaign from your number one pest. Such a glorious fantasy - if only your brother bothered to pay attention to your dad's warnings, which are pretty much meaningless at the age of fourteen.

3) Lock your bedroom door
Might seem a bit extreme - and, considering that you haven't done anything wrong, similar than a prisoner would receive - but don't destroy the concept of locking your bedroom door just yet. Sometimes, a lock can be the key (quite literally) to keeping you sane and providing a much-needed break from your younger sibling, who you are obliged to live with. Besides, don't parents hate nothing more than doors being slammed in a rush of adolescence anger? Locking a door not only gives you some distance, but enough distance to cool down and let your irritation fade away... Anger doesn't help anyone, let alone yourself!

4) Remind them of his homework
As soon as I bring up the topic of homework on a Saturday night, all the colour - and intentions to wind me up - drains from my brother's face, replaced with an urge to complete his assignments all evening. Then, as my parents devote themselves to helping him, I slip away into my room, treating myself to a peaceful evening which isn't blighted with piercing yells of 'leave me alone' directed at my sibling!

5) Or mention his football team
Especially if they have lost a match. When you remind your brother that you won't stop talking about their badly-performing team until he leaves you alone, you will be amazed by how desperate he will be to no longer hear about his cherished club - at all costs. For severe cases only - he might get his own back on you if he wants to!

6) Play-fight him
Sometimes, a physical match might be the only way to settle things. Make the most of every second of boxing that you see on late-night TV and don't underestimate your strength - doing so has resulted in actually hurting my brother a bit in the past. And, like a noble winner, don't laugh if your brother starts to cry - save it for later!