Approaching certain events in your life can be really intimidating when, just several years before, you were safely wrapped up in layers of soft, comforting cotton wall by those who care most about you. Escaping the future sometimes presents itself as an irresistible idea if we give into the up-in-the-air feelings which occasionally overpower our wiser senses; after all, shouldn't all of us at least try to savour the present while it lasts? Still, it takes some time until we finally realise - either by our own free will or through the encouragement from others - that running away does not disguise some of the things which we have to embrace. Unless those events are cancelled like a badly selling concert, we really don't have the right to rely on any excuses to get out of the things which we would much rather avoid - obviously, this is a trick that is only learnt by trying (and failing) it!
For example, I've been getting quite stressed out over the past week because I've felt as though I have hardly done any revision for my upcoming mocks, the first of which will be sat on Monday week - totally not the best way to kick off a new term! Although mocks are basically a fake exam, I'm nonetheless aiming to achieve some decent grades because I don't want to fail. OK, those words literally hit the nail on the head: I'm scared of failure. You might have seen some overly dramatic teen movies in which the main star gets a soul-destroying F in his or her Maths paper, which ultimately results in choked-up tears and groans over how to break the news to their oh-so-definitely disappointed parents. Obviously, I don't pay too much attention to these portrayals because I often think that they are egging it a little too much, but these scenes have been flooding my mind like a burst river bank of late - disaster is something that I really can't face!
However, I need to remember that, in order to move ahead towards the future that I'm dreaming off, getting experience - both positive and negative - right now will only serve to boost my confidence by the time I'm sitting my real exams next year. As many of you would agree with me, the first time in practically anything is usually reeking with awkwardness and uncertainty because, unlike a best friend whom you've known inside out since primary school, it is completely alien to you, which immediately makes you feel a bit vulnerable and unsteady on your feet.
Just several months ago, I experienced this feeling whilst getting used to my home because it is so different to the one that I'd previously grew up in for seven years, yet I've literally forgotten about my old house because my current one has steadily become the place where I can always be myself. So, in a way, I've already gained experience in being able to cope with new things, which has proven to myself that I can adapt rather quickly, but it simply takes a while until I fully get my head around it - well, let's hope that twelve months or so shall be long enough!
My real message today is that, even when we sing at the top of our lungs with joy by the thought of giving up, we should dig deep into ourselves and find the courage to carry on. Of course, there are days when we yearn to remain cuddled up in bed and watch as much trash daytime TV as anyone could ask for, but we owe to none other than ourselves to carry on working towards a future that ought to shine like a well-polished jewel. Whether our hidden treasures are located within our brains, bodies or self-esteem, we should never lose our thirst to find and use it to our advantage - after all, some treasures are priceless. And what is more precious than ourselves at heart?
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